You who speak to me across the fence
Of common sense
How your tomato plant will win a prize,
won't that be nice,
And by the way, how's your wife?
Your holidays were spent in Spain
You went by train
You'll go again

Have you seen me bullfight poster on the wall?
Do you know the appy memory it recalls?
Here's a photograph of me and my son, Ted
That's me cousin with his hanky on his head!
We booked in at our otel just after two
And met a family from Bradford that we knew

Oooh, a melody! Burp!

My pink half of the drainpipe
Separates next door from me
My pink half of the drainpipe
Oh, Mama!
Belongs to me

Rodney's vain saxaphone solo, as promised

My pink half of the drainpipe
Semi-detach-ed, ah!
My pink half of the drainpipe
Oh, Mama!
Belongs to moi

I have a sister in Toronto who's a nurse
And I've had a bit of bother laying turf
It's life, not books, that taught me all I've learned
Woop, in the b'oven my rice pudding's getting burned!
Ere, have you seen the new attachment on me drill?
I must have the cat put down, cause he's ill

Hey, neighbour!

My pink half of the drainpipe
I may paint it blue
My pink half of the drainpipe
Keeps me safe from
you!

I'm a wobbly jelly, you're a pink blancmange
I'm a sherry trifle, you're a chocolate sponge
Your dad wears a paper hat, mine inflates balloons
Whoops! Boodly boop! Pop! Here comes a spoon!

My pink half of the drainpipe
Separates me from the incredibly fascinating story of your life and
every day to day event in all it's minute a